I just had an epiphany about myself: I am forever writing, but not writing down. I compose blog posts, emails, and stories in my head, word-for-word, and then never (or rarely, at least) make the transition to actually put the words to paper or screen. It’s a problem!

For instance, I was lying in bed this very morning trying to get back to sleep when this realization struck. I don’t even know what led to it (probably thinking over the people I need to email back—emails I’d already written in my head over the past few weeks but have yet to write down and send). When—bam! Epiphany, followed by my brain composing this very blog post.

I tried to shove it away to focus on later, but the thoughts just kept coming. I rolled on my side, almost content to just let the thoughts run through my brain as I drifted back off to sleep…

…But that’s exactly the problem. Not taking the opportunity and making the effort when these thoughts DO happen.

Fine.

Let’s fix this, self!

So, I grabbed my laptop, which—because I’m bad at night—was lying on the bed next to me, pulled up a new Scrivener document, and started typing. With my eyes closed, because I’m still in sleepy mode (though I did put on my glasses for the occasional glimpse). I can edit this later, but I’m being proactive to write out the words as they tumble through my brain.

*Pats self on back* Good job, me. You deserve a cookie. Or a few more hours of peaceful sleep, because I emptied my brain of some thoughts.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a writer who doesn’t write—at least not as much as I should or enough to match the words in my head. I’ve gotten better about the actual fiction writing, getting my story out, but the rest? Journals, blog posts, reflections, emails, recording the everyday thoughts of my brain…not so much. It’s high time to move onto this next stage of my writerly development and make the effort to get things down. 

That’s what it feels like sometimes, though—effort. It’s easier to talk to someone and just let ideas flow. It’s easier to just think the thoughts and let them pass through your brain. I’m not sure when I became a creature of “less is best,” but I don’t like that version of me. Time to change! And time to take a more proactive stance in my writing life.

I can’t be a writer if I don’t write things DOWN. That makes me a thinker. And those who only think can’t share their ideas with the world.

Ahh, the sweet peace of release. Time to put the laptop down and drift back into dreamland.

Have you had any instances where your brain just wouldn’t shut off during sleep? Did you listen to it and do the thing that was yelling at you? Share in the comments below!