Happy Independence Day! Today, I want to talk about regaining my independence post-concussion and how I’m working towards living my best life amid the struggles.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, for the past two years now, I’ve been dealing with post-concussion syndrome from banging my head on the Test Pilot amusement park ride at Little Americkka in Wisconsin. 

I got bruised to heck on this ride, and not just my brain. Here are some images of my leg and arm on that same side of my body:

Intense, right??

I will never go on that ride again, and others shouldn’t, too. The entire thing is a metal cage with no padding, and my head smacked against a bar that ran along the inside frame. 

It’s the bruise that changed my life. And I’m still dealing with the fallout.

It’s difficult to read in long spurts and to concentrate. Not as bad as it once was in the immediate aftermath, thank goodness, but still. More so, depression and emotional instability have become issues, directly as a result of my brain not working right. It’s hard to break out of a depressive funk or a spiraling emotion, and it’s not my fault that I’m suffering. And I’m not the only one: my friends and family are suffering right along with me, because they have to deal with my changeable states and lack of focus (and memory). 

Things have improved, though, since my last post. I now know what’s going on, so I can get on the right medications and treatments. I’m not pushing myself through my “laziness;” I’m acknowledging that my brain needs rest and time to recuperate. 

Little by little, I’m regaining my independence. I’m regaining control over me, my life, and my brain. Who knows if this will become my permanent state of being, since it’s been two years now? If they’re going to resolve, most symptoms do so within the first three months to a year. This could be my life now, and I need to learn how to live with it. Be productive within it.

And that’s what I’ve been doing lately: I’ve written some pieces, put myself out there, and even dealt with the blows of rejection without completely crumbling for days on end. I’m building my editing business and have had a few clients who I’ve done successful edits for. I’m starting up my own Twitch stream for discussing the storylines and plots in video games (which is a HUGE step outside my comfort zone, but one I feel ready to take. I’m tired of living in fear of doing live video). 

I’m doing the things I need to do. Just in my own way, my own time. I’m slowly regaining my independence and my life. It’s been a long, hard road, and the end isn’t yet in sight, but I’ve made it to a few checkpoints along the way. I’m proud of myself for my journey and my persistence.

What times in your life have you felt out of control, or you felt like you lost your independence? What are you doing to honor Independence Day? Share in the comments below!