Look out, world, I’m back! I’ve been aching to write this return-to-blogging post for two months now, but it wasn’t the right time. I needed a break. A lot of life changes have happened over the past two years, and the fallout from them hit all at once. It was time to stop running away from difficult emotions and experiences and face them head-on. So, even though I regret not keeping up with the blog, I know that I’m in a better space now to move forward—though, for the immediate future, at least, in two-week increments instead of one.

That’s one of life’s greatest difficulties, isn’t it? Becoming aware of what your emotional needs are in the present and forgiving yourself for whatever lapse you had once you feel like yourself again? You weren’t always this together, or focused, or motivated. Journeys aren’t always how you expect or what you imagine. Acknowledge that new things will crop up, and allow yourself to alter the journey with freedom and a clear conscience. You’re not failing; you’re adjusting your expectations because of new and unexpected occurrences.

One of the biggest challenges for me was finding a rhythm and routine for this write-from-home thing. While absolutely a blessing, I wasn’t dealing with all of the events that led to this opportunity. I was hiding inside characters and reveling in plots and fantasies that allowed me to escape my internal thoughts, all the while attempting to “turn pro” and pursue writing as a career. I wasn’t setting myself up for failure, necessarily, but I certainly wasn’t establishing a pattern for success.

The big change that began my winter-long funk was that vital members of the local writing community I had built for myself decided that their next journey was far, far away in lands unknown. Across the country, in Arkansas and Texas, where we could no longer meet up at the local cafe and write together. That may not sound like much with today’s technology (namely, Skype) or to people who work normal jobs and talk to people during the day, but for me, these people were my colleagues. They were the human contact I had, the people who kept me motivated and inspired. They were also the people who helped shield me from dealing with life events I ran from. All of that came crashing down.

So, I had to rebuild myself little by little. I had to put effort into reaching out to people, in a variety of ways. I had to prove to myself that I could do this writing thing on my own when I relied on the motivation from others for so long. I had to confront all of the demons I had been burying, because I couldn’t be in touch with myself enough to write if I’m trying to escape myself.

Just when I began to achieve some equanimity in my life again, my writing coach dropped the bomb that he would be returning to his day job April 1 (from which he had taken a leave of absence to develop his coaching business).

The changes were never-ending. Every time I felt I had some balance, some routine, something new would come along and shake it up.

Everything is better now. Spring has sprung, and with the renewal of nature, I’ve had a rebirth of spirit. The sun is shining more, rekindling my creative flame and suffusing me with much-needed Vitamin D. My writing coach has worked out a schedule with his boss that enables him to continue working with his clients and on his own writing. Most importantly, I got fed up with the way I was feeling and working and thus  made some crucial changes to my life that will set me up for a productive and fruitful future:

*I’ve reconnected with other friends, both writers and non-writers, to keep the isolation and loneliness of being a full-time, at-home writer at bay.

*I’ve expanded my writing circle so I have people to connect with even when one (or two, or three) people are taking a break.

*I’ve relearned how to write on my own and motivate myself for a productive workday.

*I’ve established an actual routine and daily writing practice that keeps me chipping my way through my novel, word by word, scene by scene.

*I’ve begun taking on freelance editing work again, which gives me a sense of purpose, achievement, and confidence outside of my personal writing work.

*I’ve made writing my job, not my life, which has freed me to bring back other interests into my life (e.g., photography and digital art projects).

*Above all of that, I’ve begun dealing with the personal issues that have plagued me for months and years. It’s time to face them, find solutions, and move on with my life.

I feel like a whole person now, much more like myself than I’ve felt in a long time. I’ve still got a way to go, but that’s life: growing, evolving, finding new paths to your ever-continuing journey.

Welcome back, me.